“Baba, I’m transgender” I cried. A concoction of bile, oreos, and bitter acetaminophen rose in my throat. Tears rushed down my face. My body lurched forward. The powdery charcoal on my tongue sent waves of nausea through my body, as the warm emesis bag grew heavier in my hands.
I was outed to my parents as transgender on Tuesday, September 8th, 2021; the same day I was hospitalized for attempted suicide.
What does it mean to out someone? The act of outing someone is “the act of disclosing an LGBT person’s sexual orientation or gender identity without that person’s consent” (Wikipedia). When someone is outed, they lose all agency over their personal life. Often, LGBTQ+ individuals do not disclose their identity due to fears over safety, mental health, or discrimination.
These fears of safety and discrimination are backed by stark statistics, as 73% of LGBTQ+ youth have faced verbal threats because of their actual or perceived queer identity (HRC 2018 LGBT Youth Report). This rampant discrimination often leads to LGBTQ+ youth struggling with their mental health. 77% of queer youth report struggling with depression, while only 41% have received any form of counseling or treatment in the past 12 months (HRC). According to The Trevor Project, at least 1 LGBTQ+ youth (ages 13-24) attempts suicide every 45 seconds in the United States. The existing mental health crisis that LGBTQ+ youth face indicates that being LGBTQ+ adds tremendous challenges to one’s life; being outed is simply one of the many issues that youth face.
What role do schools play in LGBTQ+ discrimination? Youth spend the majority of their time in school, and as such schools play a large role in the well-being of youth. However, in terms of supporting LGBTQ+ youth, schools fall short. 70% of LGBTQ+ youth report being bullied at school because of their sexual orientation (HRC). Mountain Lakes in particular is an environment in which queerphobia is especially prevalent in the student body. Moreover, some school staff have acknowledged a lack of awareness towards LGBTQ+ issues. If teachers and administrators wish to make the school a safe environment for all students, they must make conscious efforts to support their LGBTQ+ students.
As a transgender student, it is nerve-wracking to approach teachers and identify myself as transgender. Correcting teachers by saying that “my name is actually ___” and that “it’s he, not she” is a regular occurrence. As a transgender student, I’m put in a position where I must come out to teachers and peers to be safe in my learning environment.
Not only does the question of respect concern teachers, but also friends, peers, and family— leaving queer youth incredibly vulnerable.
Teachers can easily prevent this experience of being singled out by requesting all students to identify themselves with their names and pronouns. A simple way to do this could be through google forms. Here is a short google form template that can easily be used in the classroom or for any extracurricular activities: Name & Pronoun Google Form.
The most essential part of asking a student for their preferred name and pronouns is to allow students to set boundaries with said name and pronouns. Outing LGBTQ+ youth unintentionally can lead to severe consequences for the well-being of the student. A simple method of allowing students to set this boundary would be to include a section which allows the student to select where they would like the pronoun and names to be used.
Many of the negative experiences that LGBTQ+ youth face are a result of complex societal issues that schools have no hand in solving. However, queerphobia is prevalent in the student body of Mountain Lakes High School. When working with queer students daily, staff play a role in providing adequate support for LGBTQ+ youth. It is imperative that teachers put in effort to promote inclusivity in the classroom.
Queer youth deserve to feel safe, respected, and comfortable in their learning environments.
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