For anyone under the age of 18, the timeline of the 2024 United States election may be unclear. Between confusing terminology used in news outlets or highly politically biased sources, it is not always easy to understand what is going on. This article plans on simplifying the timeline leading up to the 2024 elections while providing a comparison to the same information in Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and gaming slang.
Disclaimers
*Please note that this is satire and should not be seen as an attack on any party. This should go without saying, but The Mountaineer respects everyone’s decision for whoever they vote for. Some of the events listed are also serious issues and should not be taken lightly. We only use certain terminologies to make an entertaining read.
Background
Differences in Policy
Kamala Harris is focused on lowering costs for working-class families. She intends to do this by banning price-gouging in grocery stores and providing up to $25,000 in down payment support for first-time homebuyers. Furthermore, she wants to cap the price of insulin by $35 and reduce drug costs. She wants to increase taxes for companies making more than $400,000 annually. She also plans on tightening the border between the US and Mexico. In a similar fashion, Harris plans on banning assault weapons and tightening background checks.
Donald Trump wants to appeal to large companies and the wealthy. He wants to deport all undocumented immigrants and seal the US and Mexico border completely by finishing the wall. Furthermore, Trump plans to increase tax cuts for the wealthy while increasing tariffs by 10-20% for most foreign goods. He is a firm believer in the 2nd Amendment and does not plan on tightening gun laws.
(Translation: Kamala focuses on lowering the skill level for new players by making the game F2P. Trump wants new endgame content and to increase competition in the US servers. He is focused on banning players with no 2FA.)
Third Parties
It is also important to note that while the major parties, Democratic and Republican, will be most people’s choices, there are other presidential parties like the Green Party (Jill Stein), Libertarian Party (Chase Oliver), and Cornel West (Unaffiliated). (Translation: Other people are trying to third party, but they only have 2 power cubes)
Timeline
June 27
The lead-up to the 2024 election is polarizing, to say the least. The United States was initially split between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. (Translation: GOAT debate unfolding irl but both dudes are washed. Both sides are sus of each other. They’re both flaming each other in voice chats all the time.)
July 13
During a Trump rally in Pennsylvania, there was an attempted assassination of Trump where he was shot in the ear.
July 15
Only 2 days later, The RNC began. Trump announced that U.S. Senator J. D. Vance would be his running mate while focusing on the shortcomings of Biden’s presidency and how he will be better. (Translation: Trump boots up duos with J. D. Vance. You trust that your teammate won’t sell. You also start flaming your opps for their age trying to make them rage quit. They end up clipping you in their compilation.)
July 21
Furthermore, Joe Biden was convinced to drop out of the race by a positive COVID-19 test, looming mental illness results, and the pleas of countless Representatives. (Translation: You fold under pressure and hop off.)
August 1-5
In his place, Biden’s vice president, Kamala Harris, became the presidential candidate. (Translation: Biden locked in)
Many political figures wondered how Harris would move forward in her plans to carry out her vision for the US. (Translation: It’s a 1v3 and ur teammates are losing. Hope for the clutch)
August 6
She makes an unexpected decision when she announces that her running mate will be Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota. (Translation: Your friend finally hops on after 30 minutes of u playing with bots. You run duos with them)
September 10
Trump and Harris have a second presidential debate against each other. Here, Trump goes viral for saying some questionable things about immigrants. (Translation: Trump and Harris 1v1, but Trump sells it)
September 15
Trump had a second assassination attempt while he was golfing at a golf course in Florida. The suspect, Ryan Wesley, was found, and no damage was dealt.
October 1
Vance and Walz now have the vice presidential debate. Although nothing too shocking happens, both are able to defend their parties fairly well and give both sides another advantage. (Translation: You get a side quest that gives 20 gems)
October 16
Kamala Harris agrees to have an interview with Fox News, and it is officially aired on October 16th. Although her interview wasn’t perfect, it showed courage and proved to Democrats that Fox News isn’t super scary and should be used as just another opportunity. (Translation: Your tank rushes the other team, and actually, the team wipes and doesn’t sell)
November 5
Election Day starts, and people will rush to the polls. (Translation: Limited event happens, and the servers crash)
Conclusion
The 2024 election is arguably more interesting than any other election to date with many extremely controversial events leading up to November 5th. From attempted assassinations to questionable remarks, this has been a remarkable story to follow. Although this gives an overview to the main events that have occurred, the specific intricacies of the election also need to be given credit. We hope this article served as a fun and informative read. May the best candidate win!
0
0
Average Rating