There is absolutely zero doubt that, in only a few decades, Matt Riccardi’s face will tower above us all on Mount Rushmore, carved in stone alongside Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln. In all his awe-inspiring, glorious splendor, he will make the other four faces look like puny, insignificant nobodies. I recently sat down to interview this legendary man and president of the Mountain Lakes High School Student Government Association, and I learned many incredible things.
Born at the young age of only zero years, Mr. Riccardi gradually grew stronger, gaining more and more power as he moved up in the brutally dangerous and competitive system that is the SGA. He won over the hearts of his people and came out triumphant, election after election, until he finally became president of our beloved high school. All that remains for him is to become President of the United States, and then Monarch of the Universe and all that it encompasses, reaching territories far beyond the boundaries of human comprehension.
I also learned several personal details, including the fact that he has two dogs, has written two songs, has two siblings, has two eyes, two hands, two elbows, and two syllables in his full first name. He also once saw a raccoon in his tree. His plans include adding an LED screen by the cafeteria to display announcements and artwork.
In short, Matt Riccardi is a true people’s president and will gladly listen to any student’s suggestions or requests so that he can improve our high school in any way he can. He also hopes to see all students attend the Winter Formal this year, and would like to clarify that the event is open to everyone in the school, not just upperclassmen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KABGIx_sqU
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