Valentine’s Day can be stressful, especially if you have no idea what to get for your significant other. Sometimes, the list of items can seem daunting and overwhelming, but hopefully, this list can help determine which items you will certainly be picking up this lovely month.
Imaginary Handshake
Ever since Covid-19, everyone has become more cautious regarding personal hygiene. So why not keep that trend going with an imaginary handshake? This gift for your lover ticks all the boxes. Clean, quick, cheap, and affectionate. For only 99 cents and free shipping, what is not to like about this… “present”?
4 Cheeze-It Squares
What’s better than 3 Cheeze-Its, you ask? 4 Cheeze-Its of course! Moving past the obvious numerical advantage, cooler still is that these 4 Cheeze-Its are all interconnected into one big Cheeze-It square. Very satisfying. The description lists even lists that it is uneaten! For the low low price of $1, you can make your special someone feel even more special with this rare collector’s item.
Bottle of Air… From Texas!
This thoughtful gift has multiple meanings. For starters, that vacation to Hawaii they keep asking about? This is close enough. After all, it literally is a breath of fresh air (maybe not that fresh, but it gets the job done). It comes in a plastic water bottle too, so make sure to recycle that thing to ensure you are doing your part in keeping the Earth clean. Spending only $3 for the bottle and $6 worth of shipping, this vacation plan is guaranteed to be the most cost-effective one out there!
Zombie University Personalized Certificate – Apocalypse Survival
Granted, this gift could be better for Halloween, but what’s the difference between love and fear? For only $15 each, you can get a piece of paper that is customized to you, a zombie slayer and master. Make sure to buy this to have a sure-fire way to spice up your room!
A Confirmation of Delivery
Nothing speaks of “lack of planning” more than your gift not arriving for Valentine’s Day. This is only a step up from not buying a gift because it seems like you only planned the day before. If you try to pull this off, at least try to make it a good gift. Do not try this unless you are absolutely desperate and have no other options.
Expired Gift Card
Digging into your stash of gift cards, you think about how good of a gift it will make. However, you completely forget to check that the cards you bought a few years back are now worthless. Hey, maybe see if you can fool your valentine into thinking it still works.
Deodorant Stick
Subconsciously, this gift screams “you really need to try good hygiene.” You will cripple their self esteem and mental image before they even think about trying to use a toothbrush. I would not be surprised if you end up seeing gum wrappers in your future. Oh, and if you are on the receiving end, they stink – not you.
Absolutely Nothing
Well, well, well. Wow, you must have some confidence trying this and expecting to make it. You look completely inconsiderate and rude. Next year, you should also get yourself a gift: a reminder. If you forgot to get a gift, a simple phone message could fix your problems. Just don’t make this mistake twice or … good luck!
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