Disclaimer: this article talks about mental health and discusses a student’s particular experience with depression and bipolar disorder. We ask for your sensitivity and kindness. If at any time you need any help, we encourage you to contact the hotline numbers at the end of the article.
So Much Stress!
High school is stressful. Everyone at some point in their life has been told this by their parents, peers, guidance counselors, or teachers. This thought is so common within student’s minds that many feel that not being stressed all the time is out of the ordinary. These thoughts have influenced the lives of many high school students across the country, not just those in Mountain Lakes. Contrarily, students are always told that they are young and need to have fun while they’re still in high school, so which one is it?
The idea of a school-social “life” balance seems great, but for many it is unattainable. This is because a school-social balance turns into a school-social-athletics-clubs-and-a-million-other-things struggle. Students are left with no time and no energy to truly enjoy what they do. These high levels of teen stress and anxiety are recognized, but little is being done about it because it seems it’s just part of high school, which is simply not true.
So, Why is Everyone So Anxious?
Many students feel stress from their parents and others about applying to college and the entire admissions process. One student, when prompted, asked is school “really worth it though? To be a student, but not a person?”
However, from a young age students are encouraged to put school first because it will bring success. Everyone wants to go to a good college, get a good job, work, and eventually retire. The idea is that we are taking the first steps towards that future now, preparing ourselves for college. When asked about the college process and everything it entails, one student shared that they “feel like right now college is all anyone talks about which makes it more stigmatized and stressful for them.”
It seems that success comes at the expense of mental health and with a total disregard for overall well-being. Of course going to college is worth it, and of course, everyone wants to live their best life, but no one should have to sacrifice something so important and meaningful as mental health to get there.
The source of anxiety for students can be a multitude of things, whether it be the four tests they have the next day, the sheer amount of homework they have, their upcoming SATs, over-scheduled club meetings, or just getting through a day of school. Of the students asked about the cause of their stress, there were a few recurring themes. These included the extreme competitiveness of Mountain Lakes, which undoubtedly makes it a great school to learn at, but a sub-par place when it comes to talking about mental illness and health.
One student wrote that they “get night terrors which give[s] them anxiety attacks and they [feel that] people [are] pressuring them into making big decisions … it makes them stressed because they always try to please everybody.”
Nobody should be under so much stress that these are the consequences, yet these levels of stress are, unfortunately, normal. High school is a time in life where everyone is the most hormonal, impetuous, impulsive, and restless. When high school piles on stress to such a degree that the sound of the bell is enough to make a child feign illness or skip class altogether, this fact should put things into perspective.
Despite all these grievances, stress can be good. The only way to achieve at a high level in anything is to be driven by stress. The only way to build muscle is to use a higher weight than what is comfortable. The only way to become a great singer is to practice copiously. The only way to be the best student is to study.
I Need a Break!
The line between healthy stress, and overwhelming stress is a fine line: the difference is in the time to recuperate. An athlete stretches and takes ice baths so they do not pull a muscle. The singer rests their voice before a concert. The problem for the student is as soon as they finish studying for one test, they have to study for another, plus their other added commitments that could include being an athlete or singer.
According to a recent study “a scant 8% of US high school students get the recommended amount of sleep. Some 23% get six hours of sleep on an average school night and 10% get only 5 hours,” which yet again highlights the lack of physical recovery for students. This constant cycle of working at 100% all the time and not having any time for recovery is the real problem.
Will You Stop Ranting and Give Us A Solution?
While writing this article at the last minute (due to the copious amounts of homework, projects, and tests I was assigned), I thought about the amount of complaining I was doing, and I decided to offer a solution. The only way we, as a student body, can truly start opening up and relaxing is to end the stigma. Don’t just rant to your friends about that math test coming up or whatever it may be, but truly talk about what is happening. Open up about depression, anxiety, and all the things whirring around your brain. It is difficult to talk about the stress we experience, and change won’t come overnight, but there is hope and help if you ask for it.
A Student’s Experience
Mental illness is highly prevalent in today’s students. A recent study showed that half of all lifetime mental illnesses develop at the age of 14, the age at which someone enters high school. A student has asked us at the Mountaineer to share her personal story to erase the stigma of mental illness; however, the student has elected to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.
You shouldn’t have to hide who you are or how you feel for anything or anyone–especially when it comes to relationships (both platonic and romantic). As someone with bipolar disorder, depression, and a plethora of other issues, it’s hard to maintain stable and long-lasting relationships.
If I’m with someone who doesn’t have the issues I do, they don’t know what to do if I break down. If I’m with someone who does know what I’m going through, they may know how to handle the issue, but it’s possible they break down as well. As pathetic as this sounds this makes me feel like I’ll never know true love, have a happy family, and successfully raise kids. And man, does that feeling suck.
A lot of times I think ‘oh I’ll just find someone who can handle my outbursts when they happen and then keep on going with life like everything’s fine’–but that’s just not how this works. The other person will worry. They’ll stress out. They’ll think they caused the panic attack when scientifically, they aren’t caused by any certain trigger. They’re not necessarily used to this sort of thing happening. And that’s why we need to be open. So many kids in our school have therapists, see doctors, take medications, but we’re told to keep quiet about it.
So if you’re not working on yourself 24/7, how are you supposed to get better? We should be able to talk to friends about things that are bothering us, or no one will recognize the issue and nothing will get better. There is no shame to opening up.
Because one day or another you may find yourself struggling to breathe sitting on the floor of an empty classroom because of this stinging pain in your chest, and you feel like your body is about to cave in on itself and you just want someone to be there and breathe with, but you’re too scared to call anyone because they might freak out or you just don’t want them to miss out on whatever fun they’re having.
Well listen, buddy. Don’t be ashamed, and don’t be scared. Reach out and open up to the people around you, and you will see yourself building better and stronger relationships. And to the people who have friends or loved ones in these types of scenarios, don’t brush it aside. Read up on what they’re going through so if they need your help, you can set them straight.
A good method that I use for panic attacks/general stress/sleep help is the 4-7-8 breathing. You breathe in for four counts, hold for seven, then out for eight. It pretty much forces the brain to relax and helps me fall asleep pretty quick which is pretty dope if I do say so myself.
I just wanted to shed some light on the mental health issue in this school, as it’s something a lot of people are going through, yet never share it so they always feel alone. You are not alone, and there are people out there who want to help. You just have to reach out.
Hotlines to Reach:
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): 240-485-1001
- Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA): 1-800-826-3632
- National Institutude of Mental Health (NIMH): 1-866-615-6464
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
- Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): 800-233-4050
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