Let’s start with a brief acrostic about potatoes.
Potatoes
Or
Tomatoes?
Are
They
Overrated?
Eggs
Scrambled
In the poem, even though I started out strong with “potatoes,” I soon ran out of potato content, just like the Irish in the 1840’s.
This article is a ranking of the species of potatoes; however, since this is modeled after a chocolate muffins recipe posted by a mommy blogger, here’s some random background information before we get to the important part.
When I was laboring over the composition of this feature, a non-Irish member of the Mountain Lakes High School French Club (we don’t name names – Ziccardi) insisted I include their limerick about potatoes. When I refused, they became borderline neurotic, threatening to remove me from the French Club Canvas class. Unfortunately, this empty threat left me shaking in my boots, so here is the aforementioned limerick:
Yum yum potatoes,
Eat them with your toes,
Cook them any way you want,
Feed them to your crazy aunt,
Eat your potatoes.
Now, because I did consent to the Mountain Lakes Honor Code (under the “Responsibility” section: “Commitment to duty,”) I am obligated to give you, dear readers of the Mountaineer, a ranking of potatoes.
10. Rose Finn Apple: Neither a rose, nor an apple. And who is Finn?
9. French Fingerling: Below average texture.
8. Red Gold: I don’t know, I just don’t like it.
7. All Blue: Looks like it’s trying too hard.
6. Jewel Yam: Apparently, it’s a variation of sweet potato, not a yam.
5. Russian Banana: I’m afraid to say something about this one.
4. Red Thumb: You would see these at a high-end restaurant; looks pretty.
3. Sweet Potato: It’s at Thanksgiving. Most people eat it.
2. Yukon Gold: Amazing; second only to Russets.
1. Russet: Lumpy, brown, the epitome of potato (also seems like something you could name your child.)
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