The GSA at MLHS
The clubs at MLHS are the epitome of student culture, and each club joined is a new safe space for a student’s interests & identity. One such club is the Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA). The President of the Mountain Lakes GSA, Sav Iqbal (He/Him), describes the GSA as “an organization made up of students that are a part of the LGBTQ+ community or anyone that is an ally to the LGBTQ+ community” (anyone is welcome to join the club through this google form). This student driven club stands for acceptance, understanding, and advocacy of LGBTQ+ rights, along with educating both faculty and students about LGBTQ+ issues. In terms of what the GSA is against, Sav lists intolerance, injustice, transphobia, homophobia, any form of harassment/bullying, and “outing” others when they are not ready. The overall change that members of the GSA want to see at MLHS is “more consideration and tolerance,” which includes being sensitive with issues to avoid outing students; more respect for preferred names/pronouns; less tolerance for homophobia; and more LQBTQ+ history being integrated into the curriculum. In Mountain Lakes, these desired outcomes are not without significant challenges.
Rising Concerns
It’s no secret that a certain type of crowd comes to mind at the mention of Mountain Lakes. The area, consisting of relatively less diversity than that of other boroughs, is mainly comprised of heterosexual, cisgender, white, and wealthy citizens. According to Data USA, 2019 census data highlighted the 81.1% white population, as well as a 6-figure median income of $241,667 at Mountain Lakes. The 2019 population of 4,270 (roughly 1/7 of Livingston’s 2019 population, and 1/12 of Parsippany’s, according to the US Census) also suggests a tight-knit community with little room for new ideas and paradigms. Because of the lack of diversity in the area, murmurs of concern for the inclusivity of minorities have surfaced; the most prominent of these being for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community. The queer community as a whole has been growing, especially among the more accepting youth, most likely due to the help of easier access to resources through digital sources which allow the exploration of one’s identity beyond what is taught to them directly.
A sizable increase has in fact been seen in the number of students who have come out to their friends and the school in regards to their sexuality and gender (or lack thereof). On one hand, it has been welcomed with a wave of acceptance and inclusion by faculty and students alike. However, this figure has also been met with a rise in homophobia in a variety of settings and situations. To speak on behalf of those affected by homophobia and transphobia at our school, a concrete definition for each of the words must be laid out. According to Merriam-Webster English dictionary, homophobia is an “irrational fear, aversion to, or discrimination (worse treatment) against homosexuality or gay people.” A similar definition applies to transphobia, as a fear or discrimination towards transgender students.
When surveyed about the presence of homophobia and transphobia at the school, teachers’ and students’ answers seemed to vary dramatically. Conrad Lewis (Any Pronouns), a senior who has lived in Mountain Lakes his entire life, believes that homophobia is a much larger issue than it seems. “‘Problem is…the last word I would use [to describe homophobia], I would say it’s a pandemic. We are fighting two pandemics right now.” Lewis explains that although schools haven’t directly told students that “everyone here is going to be straight… it was kind of implied that in the stories we read, or in the activities that we do in class… ‘the woman goes with the man.’” Speaking to personal experiences, he explains that he did not realize until junior year that he had “suppressed a part of [himself]…and had been put into this box,” due to the community’s expectations of him and the narrow perspectives that had been extended to him on subjects such as sexuality and gender identity. Senior James Purcell (He/him) weighs in, stating that in a community “dominated by the upper class…elite” who are “not very outwardly expressive of…minority sexualities and genders,” homophobia is an obvious cultural product.
The GSA faced a prime example of the issue in question this year during the club fair, regarding sign-up for interested members. According to club officials and witnesses, a considerable number of students “jokingly” added their names on the sign up sheet. Aside from creating an artificial boost in interest and membership for the GSA, Purcell comments that such actions seem to “[treat] the idea that there can be alternate sexual orientations and alternate gender orientations a bit too flippantly.” Most of these people do not hold legitimate malice towards the LGBTQ+ community, according to Purcell, but they are merely mocking for the sake of having fun without regard for consequences others may bear. Critically, consequential hate crimes are not a common thing in Mountain Lakes, but Purcell believes “there’s always room for improvement.”
In contrast with students attending MLHS, teachers found that for much of their teaching career at the school and class time, homophobia is not visibly present among the student body and faculty. Mr.Vallies (He/Him), the choir teacher at MLHS, states that “at this school the staff has been really good about being open about [discrimination]…it’s fairly welcoming here.” His thoughts on the matter are echoed by English teacher Ms. Seibert (She/Her), who says “it’s not something [she witnesses], although that doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.” Referring to heteronormativity as far as the curriculum, Ms. Seibert reflects that, “coming from…an English teacher, something we talked about…in our department meetings was how to introduce more diverse perspectives…because so much of what we read is white, heteronormative literature.” U.S. History teacher Mr. Schutz (He/Him) introduces the idea that homophobia and transphobia both in conversation and action may fly over teachers’ heads as they are doing their jobs. He states, “I wouldn’t say it’s something that I have seen, but it’s something that I’m aware of, that I wouldn’t necessarily see.”
Cisnormativity and Preferred Pronouns/Names
Respecting preferred pronouns/names and the use of deadnames has been an issue that has acquired prominence in the discussion of atmosphere in schools. To preface the report of student and faculty attitudes regarding this topic, it is important to know what these terms are referring to. Oxford defines a preferred pronoun as “the pronoun that a person prefers to be used when they are referred to, in order to indicate their gender identity.” A preferred name is rather self-explanatory, and a deadname is “the name that a transgender person was given at birth and no longer uses upon transitioning,” as defined by Merriam-Webster.
Throughout interviews conducted of the student body, many had similar ideas in responses regarding respect of preferred pronouns/names at MLHS. James Purcell expresses that teachers at MLHS were, in general, respectful of students in this matter. “From my experience, Mountain Lakes teachers especially have not been inherently ‘bad.’ I know some right-wing teachers, maybe out of desire not to make things awkward, or desire not to get yelled at by parents or queer groups, have maybe begrudgingly used [preferred] names; but there is certainly a basic level of respect [with] teachers to use the preferred pronouns and names of trans people.” Sophomore Rowan Zollner (They/Them) comments on their personal experience: “I would say that they are respected to an extent. A lot of people do call me by my preferred name, Rowan, they don’t deadname me very often unless it’s an accident and I’ve personally been very lenient… because I do know that can be a difficult adjustment. Most people are respectful of the name; the issue lies a lot with pronouns, because a lot of people don’t understand how They/Them pronouns work and a lot of people refuse to accept … that They/Them can be used singularly. I guess people forget that, or have a hard time wrapping their head around [it].” Madison Chiong (She/They), a junior at MLHS, mentions that “this year, [she’s] actually been seeing a lot more acceptance of preferred names, mostly among teachers.” But does that respect of identity translate over to teachers enforcing this use for other students?
According to Purcell, “Not at all. To enforce the use of preferred pronouns and names as a teacher can be ‘risky’ because it is a very politicized issue. Especially in this town, [where] teachers are, very much so, at the mercy of parents.” Conrad Lewis has noticed that “transphobia is on the rise, especially in recent years, as people are embracing their identity.” However, this transphobia is not always direct. Though Chiong has not “seen [anyone blatantly] using the wrong name,” she shares that it may exist in other forms: “I know people who just choose to ignore pronouns… It’s getting better, which is why I expected things to be going uphill, not downhill…” Madison also believes that the nature of this transphobia often takes the indirect form of ignoring pronouns or laughing at the expression of identity of trans students because there is “a lot of stigma around these kinds of things, and people like to hide behind things; no one likes to be blatantly homophobic or blatantly transphobic, so hiding behind a joke is much easier than directly not respecting people’s pronouns… I’m sure [the disrespect] has a lot to do with one’s surroundings”—in other words: herd mentality. “It’s that they’re willing to go along with it, and that can be worse.” For those who take a more direct approach to convey their transphobia, Lewis, referencing an incident in which a transgender student was barked at by a group, states that the motive behind such acts is that they desire to “prove their cisness; they want to prove their straightness to these people that are embracing that they don’t have to be cis, they don’t have to be straight.”
When asked to put themselves in the shoes of teachers and explain what their policy of preferred pronouns/names would be, students provided a variety of answers. Conrad expresses that the curriculum “should provide more media that breaks the boundaries, and we shouldn’t be afraid. There will always be these reactionaries who say ‘This is too far, we’re pushing society too far. These kids and their pronouns!’ But we shouldn’t be afraid to break that boundary because that’s a natural part of progress. If we accept, in the doctrine of education, that everybody has an equal chance, everybody should express themselves, should show their identity, then why would we leave that out? Even if those people don’t agree with it, why are they excluding those people because they choose a different way of life than them?”
In order to take steps to change the status quo, Rowan has a clear plan that they would implement. “I would make sure to use everyone’s preferred names and pronouns to the best of my ability… I would also try to ask to see if they’re comfortable with me using their preferred name and pronouns around specific people, like their family, because I personally know that a lot of times, teens will come out to their friends, and people at schools, before their family, out of fear for their family reacting negatively or just because they’re… anxious about telling their family.” Similar to Zollner, Chiong has an idea of a procedure: “If I were to become a teacher, I would try to implement some kind of‒ ‘Ok, let’s say our names and our pronouns.’ In some places like Mountain Lakes, people might complain to their parents, and then that would be dangerous for the teacher. But I think the best option for teachers right now is to just go along with what a student prefers, not be weird with it, and write it down.” With regard to the idea of teachers enforcing respect for gender identity among students, Purcell believes that if he “was a teacher, it’s something to campaign for. But at the end of the day, that can’t be a teacher’s main focus.” While teachers can do their most to respect students’ identities, enforcing this respect among students, other faculty, and administrators is potentially a losing battle.
When it comes to teachers, interviews revealed that faculty members also believe that MLHS is headed in the right direction, but agree that there is some reason for concern. Do individuals at MLHS have respect for preferred pronouns/names? Mr. Vallies says “yes and no.” He recalls an incident last school year, in which a student who was not in his class, signed onto the Zoom call and mocked the use of pronouns in Zoom names. Mr. Vallies pulled the student aside and had a conversation with them about respect for others’ pronouns. However, this seemed to be an isolated incident, and Mr. Vallies believes there is generally a positive atmosphere pertaining to this topic. He also tries to use gender neutral terms, such as “sopranos and altos” or “treble singers” rather than “girls,” and “tenors and basses” rather than “boys.” Mr. Schutz has not seen any incidents himself, and believes preferred pronouns/names are “something that an individual gets to choose about themselves, of what to be referred to, what their name is, their pronouns; [he thinks] that’s a personal choice that everyone should be able to make.” As a teacher, he provides the first day of introductions as a day to get to know students’ preferences, and allots that time to “let [him] know [then], what you like to be called.”
Even with a theme of general contentment towards how pronouns are treated here at MLHS, some suggest that there may be a difference in how teachers adjust to preferred pronouns versus how students do. When asked why students in the school may struggle with adjusting to the preferred pronouns of their peers, Ms. Seibert speculated “[w]e have more years of experience, we’ve grown into ourselves a little bit more, and maybe, that sense of maturity just makes it easier for us to respect people’s needs. ” She finds that it is also important to be proactive and sit down with students early on in the year, to ask about how to address them around their families. Ms. Seibert currently sends out a google survey to begin the year, which includes the question, “What are your preferred pronouns?” In reflection, she believes it would be beneficial to ask, in the same survey, what name/pronouns to use with family as well.
Final Thoughts
A call for change is universally resonant, whether it be a request for a minuscule difference in the classroom, or demand for a radical cultural shift. Few members of the MLHS community felt that the school was perfect and many acknowledged room for change. Although MLHS has experienced a visible shift in cultural norms and acceptance within the last few years, specifically regarding the LGBTQ+ community, students and teachers alike feel that a push in the right direction, that of inclusion and acceptance, could benefit the entirety of our Mountain Lakes community.
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