Seasonal Depression: You’re Not Alone

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Each day melds into the next like the dark snow at the end of my driveway. A cyclical torture. Time has essentially become meaningless as the routine I established in the beginning of quarantine retains no meaning. I wake up at 7 A.M. to the shrieking cries of the automatic Apple alarm sound that still sends chills down my spine. I then get ready for school, maybe I’ll eat a banana or a Belvita biscuit, and take my dog out into the frigid morning air. I then sit at my desk for what seems like the rest of my life, sometimes alternating with the couch. Between the back to back school and club Zooms my normally plush and comfortable desk chair and laptop have become my keeper.

Concentrating is impossible as the forty-five tabs open swim in my eyes and my motivation, as a second semester senior living through an anxiety-inducing pandemic knowing I’m probably not going to have any redeeming qualities after senior year, is below the ground. It’s a good day if I bake something with my siblings, or do an art project, or even manage to finish all my homework on time, but as the days are getting colder and the nights are drawn out, that seldom happens.

I had never experienced seasonal depression or seasonal affective disorder before, but in quarantine I find myself resonating with a lot of the symptoms. The monotony of life has become increasingly apparent as I’m reduced to a pool of nerves without the impulse to do anything about it. However, I am not alone in these feelings. For so many, the socially-distanced summer picnics with friends, and the temperate hikes made quarantine bearable in the earliest months, but now that the warmth of summer is gone, the isolation of quarantine has gotten worse. However, all we can do is keep social distancing and hope this pandemic will end soon.

We can also make sure to routinely check up on ourselves and our friends to see how they are doing mental health wise and maybe even plan a Zoom or socially-distant event to see them. I’ve found that doing small things, like taking my dog for a walk or painting my nails for fun, has made these last few months a little bit better. Each person is different, but it is important to know that it is okay to not be okay. The entire country is going through a strange period of heightened anxiety and fear, and not working at your most efficient or productive is okay. It is okay to not be thriving, but just getting by.

Here are several mental health and SAD resources and hotlines if you’ve been experiencing any of the symptoms of depression or anxiety:

Resources for Managing Seasonal Affective Disorder

Social Work License Map – Resource List

The Trans LifeLine: 1.877.565.8860

This hotline is staffed exclusively by trans operators. It is the only crisis line with a policy against non-consensual active rescue. This service is available from 10AM – 4PM.

The Trevor Project LGBTQ Hotline: 1.866.488.7386

This 24-hour crisis intervention and suicide prevention hotline is available for LGBTQ individuals by phone, text, or online chat.

The Deaf Hotline: 1.855.812.1001

This is available 24/7 through video, phone, email and chat for Deaf, DeafBlind, and DeafDisabled survivors.

National Parent Helpline: 1.855.2736

This service for parents is available 12PM-9AM (Central Time) for emotional support and advocacy for parents.

Domestic Violence Helpline: Call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY, or if you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522.