I don’t know hockey, but it is my great pleasure to know Abi Somjen. A senior on our high school team, and a four-year veteran, I sat down with her to ask about her experience as one of two girls on the squad, after three years of being her gender’s sole representative. Respect.
When did you start playing hockey?
“I started when I was eight or nine. I was young. I kind of just started when everyone else did.”
What drew you to the sport?
“My brother did it. When I was younger he was my role model… I just wanted to do everything that he did. So when my dad asked, he was like, ‘Jonny, do you want to play hockey?’ and he said ‘yeah sure, I’ll give it a try.’ So I was like, ‘Well, I want to play. He’s playing, so let me do it too.’ My dad said, ‘All right, we’ll sign both of you up,’ and I got very into it. I really liked the kids who I was playing with, and I really liked the sport. I liked how fast-paced it was, and I just thought it was fun.”
So back then when you were playing, as far as Little League composition: was that also an all-boys team?
“Yeah, it was a boys team. There were younger girls who also played, but I was the only one for a long time. It was about 99% guys, and I was that one girl.”
What’s your favorite pro hockey team?
“That’s the one thing I’m bad at…I don’t follow the sport as much. I’ve been a Devils fan my whole life. Couldn’t tell you why. Probably because they’re a New Jersey team.”
How would you contrast your experience being on a boys team with the experience of an all-girls team?
“I did play on an all-girls hockey team for a year. When I was on an all-boys team, when I was younger, it wasn’t that different because I was playing with the same group of kids that I’d been with my entire life. They almost saw me as, like, ‘one of the boys.’ I got dressed in the same locker room as them, up until around eighth grade. They didn’t really see me as something different, like ‘oh, a girl.’
With hockey, I was still a very physical player. I was probably one of the most physical on the team. I was still doing everything that they did, it’s just that I’m a girl. That was the only difference. With a girls’ team, it’s different. Girls are smaller, and I’m a bigger kid. Playing with the girls it was different because they were just smaller, and very short. Very petite. And so I thought ‘this is not my team.’ They aren’t allowed to check. Girls hockey is not physical at all, and I didn’t like it.
The team dynamic wasn’t something I was used to. Because of my brother, growing up, I kind of stuck with the guys more. I had a lot of guy friends. When I came to Mountain Lakes in 6th grade, that’s when I started being friends with just girls, not only guys… playing with them was normal. With girls’ hockey, you’re not physical. You’re not allowed to be. On a boys’ team, it’s expected. So that was the biggest difference.
“I think another one of the differences isn’t always how the team treats you, but how you’re treated by the coaches. I’ve been in situations where coaches treat me like every other kid on the team, but I’ve also been in positions where coaches step on glass around me. You can see that they think that if they say something, and I get upset, then I’ll go and tell someone. I don’t know if they notice that or not, or pay attention to me that much, but it’s something you can see. They know I’m a girl, and they do things differently. If we were doing a drill that involves hitting, they won’t put me in as often, or put me against the bigger guys.
The team isn’t so much of a difference. I’ve been welcomed onto the team, this year more than others. It feels more like a team, at this point. Being a senior, it’s different when you’re the oldest one.”
So, you’re one of two girls on the Mountain Lakes Hockey team, going on your fourth and final year with the squad. That’s pretty cool. What do you think has changed about your experience since freshman year?
“I think the amount that I am integrated with the team is different now. When I was a freshmen, I felt separate. The seniors my freshman year were very intimidating in every sport I played. I didn’t want to go out of my way to talk to upperclassmen. It made hockey harder than, say, freshman year soccer. There, I still had all of the girls on my team who I was friends with, in and outside of the sport.
In hockey, I wasn’t friends with a majority of the team. It was very hard to become friends with them. When you’re in the locker room, that’s when you become friends with kids. Even though I would go in before games and stuff to talk with the team, I still was only there for about 5 to 10 minutes. You can see the bonds that the kids made, that I wasn’t able to. It’s a big part of the social aspect of it.
Freshman year, I kept to myself. Senior year, I’m more comfortable with going out of my way – with underclassmen especially. I’m not scared of anyone anymore, like underclassmen usually are. So I’ve been able to make friendships now that I didn’t have in my freshman, sophomore, or junior years.”
What’s different about having two girls versus only one?
“It’s weird, but also great at the same time. It’s kind of as if Macara [Desai] is a freshman. She’s never done this. The first day she came to practice she was saying ‘I don’t know what to do. Where should I put my bag?’ It’s definitely a lot of fun having someone to talk to. When I’m in the locker room, I sit there, get undressed, and then get on the bus. Having her there now, it’s somebody I can talk to about practice, the good and the bad. She’s somebody to just chat with. It adds to the social aspect of the game, which is nice.”
What’s been the best part of being a part of the team?
“It gave me a great college essay. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever written in my entire life. My college counselor loved it, my parents were all over it…The other best part is that I’ve met a lot of people who I don’t think I would’ve gotten the opportunity to meet if I weren’t on the team. I’ve become pretty good friends with some of the guys on the team, and I think that’s definitely one of the best parts. It brought me out into a different group of people.”
Can we get some highlights from that college essay?
“I mentioned Harp Lane. I remember, during one game sophomore or junior year, we were at a tournament-type game. For some reason, when we play with guys, guys don’t hit girls. I can see why, because the ‘don’t hit girls’ idea is a societal thing. I remember I passed the puck up, it was kind of a late hit, and I got absolutely laid out. I was fine with it. I’ve taken hits, I can take hits, and I’ve given them out.
But I heard Harp skating around, checking the kid’s number, and then he went up to the rest of the team and said, “Number 71. We’re going after him for the entire game.” It was kind of that big brother aspect, with these kids looking out for me, and protecting me like they’d protect a younger sister. Something like that. I mentioned that in my college essay. Harp Lane, good kid.”
Is it hard being such a legend?
“Yes. It’s very hard.”
How’s the season going so far? Who are you guys looking to take down in the near future?
“The season is going well. We’re playing well, got a couple of good freshmen. The team in general is looking good. We’ve got a game Monday against Mount Olive, which is really big for us. We’re hoping to get the win, or at least a tie…it’s going to be a very physical game. It’ll be a good one. Come out and watch.”
Did you experience any hesitation when deciding whether or not to play high school?
“I knew I wanted to. My parents did not want me to play at all. My dad kept saying ‘You will get hurt. You’re a girl, they’re boys, and they’re big and strong now.’ I was like ‘Yeah, you’re right, but I’m also big and strong now.’ I told him ‘I can handle myself.’ I’ve been playing with boys my entire life, I’m not scared of them. Sure, they’re bigger and stronger, but I can handle myself.
My dad let me have the final say… obviously, I was gonna say ‘heck yeah, why wouldn’t I play?’ This is a sport I’ve been playing my entire life, going on ten years at this point? There was actually another girl at one point. We’re a Mountain Lakes and Boonton team, and there’s this girl who goes to Boonton High School who played the summer league with us. I was really excited, like ‘there’s gonna be another girl on the team.’ This was before I knew that Macara was playing. But her parents wouldn’t let her play. They just…said no, pretty much.
It’s definitely something that female hockey players have to deal with in high school. Your parents are going to be scared for you, because you’re smaller. Being a girl makes people think that you’re weaker, and should maybe stick to something else. I’m not going to quit anything for something as stupid as being a girl. If I want to play, I’m going to play.”
Any big pregame rituals?
“Not at all. Absolutely not. I mean, listening to music is a pregame ritual for everyone. Getting in the zone.”
Biggest pump-up song?
“I don’t know. “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes? Nah.”
What’s your favorite position to play? Why?
“I’ve been playing defense my entire life. It’s kind of just the position that people plopped me in — coaches and stuff. I don’t know why I like it so much. I just do. It’s something that I’m used to and it’s a position that is not easy to play. It’s one of the more physical spots on the ice.
If you miss the puck, you go for the body. I think that’s also something that interested me. Being a girl on the team, in order to compensate for that, I try to be a more physical player. To show the guys ‘Hey, I’m here to play. Don’t take me lightly.’ That kind of thing.”
0
0
Average Rating