So-called “cuffing season” became a trend around 2011. Some people believe it’s just a silly myth or idea, while others think there is a reason for these winter relationships. Is cuffing season just a myth, or is there a reason for these short-term winter relationships?
Contrary to popular belief, there is actually scientific evidence for the desire for a companion during the colder months. The director of the dating app “Hinge,” Logan Ury, a Harvard-trained behavioral scientist, states that there is a rise in loneliness in winter due to less socialization. Not only this, but social exclusion can manifest as a desire for physical warmth, which strengthens the need for intimacy. As the Journal of Consumer Research puts it, “being physically cold leads to an increased liking for romance movies.” Martin Graff, a Senior Lecturer in the Psychology of Relationships, explained that the reason for staying together for warmth during the winter seasons was crucial to our ancestor’s survival.
Similarly, as proven by the aforementioned Martin Graff, “…researchers found changes in male preferences for body shape and breast attractiveness across the seasons, although there was no change in men’s ratings of female faces.” Throughout the winter, men found women more physically attractive as opposed to their feelings during the warmer months. Additionally, the researchers also observed a simultaneous increase in testosterone levels, explaining why men viewed women as more desirable as the weather gets colder.
Dating apps, such as Tinder, have also experienced more interaction during cuffing season. Specifically in “peak season” which is from the beginning of January to Valentine’s Day, “Users sent 58.7 million more likes and 11.4 million more messages during [this time] than the rest of the year.” Through potential cultural pressures, more people are inclined to search for a romantic relationship even if they don’t have a person in mind at first. Presumably, it is the idea of romance that is valued, not the romance itself.
Despite what seems to be a growing popularity of short-term relationships, it remains important to remember that engaging in said relationships may become precarious. If your objective is to maintain a real, meaningful connection, then succumbing to the loneliness of winter is the wrong path to follow. Firstly, participating in finding a partner only for the season may decrease the probability that it will be long-term or serious. Of course, every situation is subjective; some have even found that their fling turned into something more. Shriya, a 25-year-old woman from Virginia, told an interviewer, “I ended up getting in a cuffing season relationship two years ago with someone who turned out to be the love of my life…It was my most successful cuffing season of all time!” However, as Tanyel Mustafa records, more often than not it is found that relationships formed during this season bear no fruit; quickly falling apart after the snow passes over.
With all this in mind, no one can definitively predetermine the destiny of a relationship formed during the winter, but here are some things to consider when pursuing one. To begin, many individuals who have fallen victim to these cuffing flings claim that they could tell when they “weren’t really into them,” with one stating, “ I think I knew deep down there wasn’t attraction…I realized that a year on dating apps had set my bar so low that someone constantly asking me on the next date had become incredibly impressive.” Thus, more than focusing on the relationship, it is important to focus on the person with which you hold the relationship. Don’t be a stranger; taking time to learn about a romantic interest makes it all the more likely that the bond will become stronger. It’s vital to ask yourself if you are rushing into a relationship. Giving in to a sense of urgency rather than patiently letting love bloom will almost always end quickly.
Regardless, every individual has their own preferences. Short-term relationships aren’t all negative, but it’s good to keep in mind the implications cuffing season can have on relationship judgments. So, keep in mind what kind of relationship you’re looking for the next time you find somebody to spend your winter with.
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